it's update 'o' clock!
I replaced one of the drive shaft UJs as it had a good bit of wobble in it, and the result is that the clonk is lessened (probably need to do the others as well to totally get rid), the lean has all but disappeared and the groaning is lessened, as I moved the de-dion in and out a bit while taking the driveshaft off and put more oil in it.
so an all round successful fix, even though getting the old cup bearings out was hard work ( 3 of the 4 were dry, 2 had started to destroy the outer..) the new ones went in just fine. Dad managed to drop the driveshaft on my finger though. Ow.
I did notice that there is a rubber thing under the rear spring (between it and the trailing arm) , which was looking a bit tired on the driver's side, might be 'helping' the lean.
thanks for all your help!